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Focus2Succeed

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Focus 2 Succeed

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Seek 1st to Understand and then to be Understood:

Posted on November 4, 2012 at 4:25 PM
When we find ourselves holding a different point of view most of us have a tendency to concentrate on how to have our side heard and how we will persuade others. Is there a better way?

While the other person is telling us why their's is the best route, we are often formulating our points and getting ready the counter argument. As a result we don't often hear their points. This is known as "level 2 listening".

If you listen intently first, ask questions and reframe their points back to them to show them that you understand their points, it will have 2 major advantages. Firstly you may actually agree with some or all of the ideas and secondly it will ensure that the other party, having satisfied themselves that you understand their point of view, will be able to listen intently to you.

"Seek 1st to understand and then to be understood" requires courage and maturity. There is nothing to fear about truely listening to a counter position if you are truely looking for the best way forward. But to close your mind to hearing other ideas and considering alternative perspectives limits knowledge and growth. There's nothing more dangerous than a closed mind. 

Categories: Good Habits

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